Self-Control

Self-Control -- the ability to control our feelings and behaviors

I introduced the lesson by giving the definition and then showing a Sesame Street parody video titled "Star S'mores" (you can find it on YouTube and it is hilarious). The video features Cookie Monster having to learn self-control as he works alongside "Chewy", who is a Chewbacca knock-off…and also a cookie. As you can imagine, hilarity ensues because of the hero's love of cookies. Throughout the parody, Cookie Monster receives pretty questionable advice from characters like Luke Piewalker, Only One Cannoli, Groda and Darth Baker. I showed this video with K-4th grades and all classes loved it. Self-control on its own is a pretty dry topic, so introducing it with a memorable video helps engage the students to remain focused for the rest of the lesson.

It is important for kids (and adults) to learn what they can and can't control. Things I can control:

• My play
• My words
• My ideas
• My feelings (or how I manage them)
• My effort
• My choices
• My behavior
• My mistakes (or what I do about them)

I can't control any of those things for other people. I can't make others play fair or use kind words or make wise choices, but I can control how I respond if others make poor choices.

I can choose:

• to treat myself and others with respect
• to use kind words and actions
• to be helpful
• to make wise choices
• to be honest when I make a mistake
• to cool down from anger before responding to frustration
• to listen and follow directions
• to stand up for what is right
• to do my best
• to build peace

There are many benefits to self-control:

• We usually do better in school
• We don't get in trouble as often
• Teachers trust us
• We often get chosen for privileges
• Others like to play with us
• People want to be our friend

To illustrate the benefits of self-control, I usually talk about the Stanford University marshmallow experiment from the 1970's. Psychologist Walter Mischel began the experiment on delayed gratification/self-control by placing a child alone in a room with nothing to entertain them. They sat at a table and were given one marshmallow. The children were told that they could eat the marshmallow whenever they liked, but if they waited until the researcher came back into the room, then the child would receive a second marshmallow. Delaying gratification (or displaying self-control) would get them two marshmallows instead of one. The differences between the groups of children who waited and those who didn't became evident over the years of continuing to study them. The kids who waited became adults who made wise choices, didn't get into trouble with the law, didn't become addicted to drugs or alcohol, and had higher rates of college attendance/graduation. Because of their better life choices, these kids tended to have better paying jobs as adults.

I usually give a brief explanation of the marshmallow experiment to my 2nd-4th grade classes and then show a video called "The Very Tempting Marshmallow Test" from YouTube. The link is found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3S0xS2hdi4

Another great resource for the topic of self-control is Howard Binkow's animated book Howard B. Wigglebottom Learns to Listen found on the website wedolisten.org.