October 8 is Bullying Awareness Day and we are already preparing for it in our community as we talk about bullying in our PeaceBuilder lessons. Bullying is one of those words that is dangerous. We all need to know what it means and we need to be prepared to respond if we witness it or if it is reported.
I define bullying this way: Bullying is when a stronger or more powerful person uses words or actions to hurt another person's body, feelings or belongings. Bullying behavior is done on purpose and happens over and over.
There are some key parts of this definition:
Difference in power -- One key part of the bullying definition is that there is a difference in power between the bully and the victim. Books, movies and TV shows typically depict the bully as being larger than the victim, but this isn't always the case in real life. The difference in power could be a difference in confidence or difference in social ability. There could be a group of bullies who outnumber a victim who has no one to stand up for him or her.
Hurts another person's body, feelings or belongings -- Bullying isn't always physical. Many times it is psychological or emotional abuse. It could be social or relational abuse.
On purpose -- Bullying isn't an accident. The person who acts as a bully is doing hurtful things with the intent to scare, embarrass or hurt another person. A bully is also different from someone with bad manners. Rude behavior is sometimes just rude behavior and there is no intent to harm another person.
Over and over -- Another key part of our bullying definition is that the abuse is repeated. A bully is unlikely to respond positively when asked to stop their behavior. They may enjoy the reaction they get from their victim and will often continue to come back for more.
It is important for parents and teachers to know how to respond. The following link provides a wealth of good information for responding to a report of bullying.
http://www.stopbullying.gov/respond/support-kids-involved/
